instead of nagging i am blogging

so i found this job advertised online the other day and sent them an email. It sounds so nice - working in a preschool or kindergarten in spain. cool!

well, I sent them an email on Sunday and here it is Tuesday and I am dying to hear anything. It's highly likely the posting was a phishing scam seeking emails to bombard with "work abroad" spam. if you go on those boards at all, you'll see tons of that.

so far though, my junk email address has only received the normal amount of junk, so perhaps it was legit. I know they need time to read through all their emails and decide I am a good candidate, but i am still impatient. i know there is a lot of time but wouldn't it be neat if I could start working on working abroad? living abroad? i have this fantasy me who lives in spain and she wants to live. c'mon cool ad - be interesting and pay a living wage....

anyone know what DoS is? as in:
"...and will be looking for future DoS candidates as well."

(significance of color change? nope, none. I copied and pasted the sentence above and now this. sorry)

so i was about to write them to make sure my message wasn't lost or missing or overlooked and then i realized it has only been two days and i am being silly so instead i am writing here.

i don't know if i really want to move abroad next year, but i do know that i will live abroad someday. And currently I feel like i am sitting around getting old without being that happy about my life.

I am not too thrilled with what i am doing these days. If the administration were supportive, i think i would be ok but combining thankless work (and busy work and paper work) with some (not all, definitely NOT all) thankless people (and criticism without complement by people who don't seem to know what they are talking about) makes me crazy.

Perhaps I am too sensitive or too serious or too something but it will not last for me like this. I have gone down the road of working where i didn't really belong. It is not a good path to stay on. I need gainful employment, but I also need respect - for me, for individuality, for people. I want to pick a new direction, start working towards a new goal, not slowly fade into myself, trying to change myself in ways i cannot change, and ultimately feeling a failure.

Spain may not be my next step, but it's an idea. I need where i am now to be a building block on a path somewhere. If i don't have a reason to BE and something to be GETTING, i will not be able to suck it up and stay. Sorry, bottom line is, i guess, what's in it for me? What a horrible thing for a teacher to say. I am there for the kids. Right?